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Who deserves the wifi? The war is on in my house – and I am losing

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January 18, 2021 at 07:00AM

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Last year, it was simple: if you had proper work, you deserved it; if you were keeping a pig alive in Minecraft, you were kicked off. Those rules have now come back to bite me

Last year – forgive me, you’ve heard it all before – working from home in a lockdown meant the perpetual shuffling and reshuffling of the family hierarchy, like being a croupier in a casino of the mundane. Who deserved the best Zoom background, the person meeting the NHS mental health commissioners, or the one interviewing a well-loved face from daytime TV? Who should stack the dishwasher, the person who tessellated the best, or the person who didn’t do it the last four times?

It boiled down to whose work was the most important, and it is surprising just how much variety you can work up around that single argument. The pinnacle was wifi, and that was pretty simple: if you had proper work, you deserved it, and if you were trying to keep a pig alive in Minecraft, you could be kicked off as the situation demanded.

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Who deserves the wifi? The war is on in my house – and I am losing …

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